Ready?!

I grew up with an awesome dog. His name was Cozmo. He was a small, spunky, genuinely "human-like" chocolate lab who absolutely loved his life. He loved to swim, walk and eat. So simple. Not only did he have a vocabulary of 1,000+ words; he was the ONLY dog who could tell the difference between your bra and underwear and a bikini. Your "walking" shoes and your flip flops. The sound of a shopping bag of clothes and the distinctive crinkle of the foil wrapped around a bean and cheese taco. Cozmo passed away last summer where I'm sure Jesus is yelling, "REAAADDDDDYYYYY!" sending our Cozmo flying, toenails clawing to assume position as he launches himself off the rocks and into blue water. It's a family joke now and I don't think any one of us will be able to spend an afternoon swimming without hearing it in our minds. REEAAAADDDYY?! It did not matter what he was doing. He could have been dead asleep on the patio but as soon as the word was said he was IN the water.

I wish I had Cozmo's readiness to leap even when I'm not sure where I will land. And now, here we are...The point where we're literally a toenail away from launching ourselves off the rocks and into the blue. I can't lie and say that I have had no fears or reservation about having two babies in my life. I have the normal mommy doubts. Will there be enough love and attention to go around? Will Allie girl feel left out (My biggest and most sad fear.) Will I have enough energy to take care of two? Surely. My mom had two. Her mom had 3! Both of these women seemed to "have it together." I know it's totally normal to feel this way. If there were a baby growing in my belly right now I would feel no different.

None of these fears, however, have been sufficient enough to take away my excitement for what is to come. Since our agency closed... Yep, you read me right. They just up and closed their doors weeks after accepting our application and first payment. We had a few emotions about that. Disheartened to lose so much money right out of the gate. Disappointed in our decision to use this agency. And confusion about where we go and what we do next.

I don't know why I am always surprised that things seem to happen just at the right time... As if they are acts of God. (Duh.) The week before our agency closed we studied the topic of trusting God in Bible Study Fellowship. Particularly Abraham's trust in God when He changes the "plans" on him. 2 weeks before our agency closed I received an inquiry for my first newborn adoption session. After talking with mom about adoption, the door was opened in my mind to a domestic foster-adoption and I remember thinking, "I might want to do this at some point in my life."

So when I got the call that our agency had closed, I was not really surprised. But more amazed at how God had "set me up" to receive that news. I graciously accepted a change in plans because I could not help but think of Abraham's willingness in times of what must have been mass confusion. And my mind immediately went to fostering to adopt because of the conversations I had with a sweet new adopting mommy. The amazing thing is, Josh mentioned it first. "What about fostering to adopt?" I never thought I would hear those words from him because just a year before, we had sworn off the risky option of fostering. It was obvious that both of our hearts had been changed on the topic and the fear was then replaced with total excitement for our new direction.

We will be fostering to adopt. We'll be completing our home study in a couple of months and our education by the end of the summer! Everything is moving much faster than with international and we will be certified to accept placements by the fall.

In the meantime life has been busy in the Peterson house. Allie celebrated her first birthday on January 12th with friends and family. I cannot believe she is already one. She has since started walking and is now all over the house! I love to hear her bare feet on the wood. She says "Uh-Oh" "ba--" (ball) and "do-" (dog), night night, bye bye, Mama, and Dada. We are ever so proud of her little accomplishments.

One more note. Fostering to adopt is nearly free. The state practically pays you to do it. We have received such generous donations from people in the last 2 years for our international adoption that we do not feel it is right to keep it. We will be donating every bit of it to Heartland Children's Home in Boerne in the name of the Boerne (and beyond) families who have opened their hearts to support the orphan. Thanks everyone!!!

Nikki, Josh and Allie P.

Click!

So it has definitely been a bit too long since our last post and we’ve had a lot of people ask us if we are still adopting since we now have little baby Allie. I can say with absolute surety that YES!, we are absolutely still adopting. Granted, having Allie when we did was not exactly according to plan but if we’ve learned anything through this process it’s that God does not care what you think your ‘perfect’ plan is but rather He knows what your perfect plan is. We have learned to trust and abide by His plan while putting off our ‘perfect plan’ because life doesn’t always happen that way.


Allie has greatly enriched our lives and further fortified our desire to adopt. Over the last 7 months, we have watched her grow, learn things, have lots of fun, meet new people, see new things, be upset, be happy and adapt to her new life in the world. There were definitely some late, long nights and some early mornings when it was easy to question ourselves as parents and wonder if we were doing it ‘right’. However, during those nights when I was up holding Allie while she cried or while she slept on me, my mind often reverted to the thought or where my son was at that moment. Being the man’s man that I am, I instantly teared up at the thought that no one was there to hold him, comfort him, give him a bedtime bottle or rock him to sleep. It breaks my heart to think that there are so many orphans in the world, over 200 million, that do not have a parent to care for them and make them feel special. We know when Allie cries that she needs something and it’s always something simple that she needs and we can fulfill it easy. However, when you read about Eastern European orphanages, you find that they are severely understaffed and not able to provide for the needs of each child. Children don’t have the benefit of bedtime stories, cuddling or even clean diapers because there simply aren’t enough hands to go around and help out. When I think about that it makes me want to do everything possible to get Dane in our arms as fast as possible.

Throughout this process, Nik and I have been focused on bettering the life of an orphan, our child. As we have researched countries, agencies, funding, etc. we have begun to realize that as much as our future son needs us, we need him. God made us for each other and he has selected a little boy for us out there in the world that will enrich our lives in ways we could never imagine. We only hope that we can return the favor to our little man.

Just as an update, now that Allie is 7 months old (most agencies require your kids be at least 6 months old) we feel God pushing us forward in our adoption and telling us to get a move on! We are planning on adopting from Eastern Europe and have narrowed down our agency to either Little Miracles or Adoption Ark based on which country we end up adopting from. No matter where or when, one thing that doesn’t change is the need to fund this operation. We’ve been saving and raising money over the past year and half; we can never adequately thank those who have made donations to our adoption! The outpouring of love and support has been amazing to see and we have truly been blessed by all of you. Thank you all so much! We have raised about half of the funds we need and we have a goal to be 100% funded by the end of the year. With that goal in mind, we have launched a new venture to help us fund our adoption….



We’re proud to introduce ‘Click! Photo Booths’ as our new, exciting endeavor/fundraiser for Dane! Nikki and I have been to a few events over the last couple of years where photo booths were used and have always marvelled at how awesome and fun they are. We talked about starting this business about a year ago and somehow became distracted with other things. Since Nik is such a talented photographer, it’s a natural extension of her business but also a fun way to reach our financial goal! Our plan is to use 100% of the profits from our rentals to fund the adoption until we are fully funded =) The booth is excellent for birthday parties, weddings, corporate events, rehearsal dinners, etc. We have had so much fun setting this up together. This is the first business adventure we have taken as husband and wife and our common goal of getting our son home has made it that much more exciting. Our first booth itself is truly awesome... Thanks to the designing talent of my beautiful wife. She sketches, I build. We’re interested in delivering the full package, all the way down to custom event graphics printed on each strip. So look us up on Facebook or on the new website click-photo-booths.com for more information and help us reach our financial goal by the end of the year!

Our good friend Christie and her fiance Bryan were married this past weekend and we were able to give our new booth a trial run at the wedding. Here are some shots of all the fun we had!

We are planning our home study for November of this year. Thanks to everyone again for the support and prayers! We are in awe of the power of adoption and how it has moved through our community. We congratulate our friends and lifegroup members the Bakers and Fickeys as they have made big strides towards their own adoptions in the past few weeks. We know there will be many more families to follow. If you’re interested in adoption yourselves, they have also started an adoption ministry called Reclaimed to walk with families through the adoption process. They’re meeting on Thursday nights and I know the Bakers or Fickeys would love to give you more information about it. If you haven’t already, you should check out their blogs, here and here, and read all about their journeys.

-Josh

Patience

Patience: Quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care. 


This is the definition of patience as it relates to my experiences in motherhood so far. "Even-Tempered Care" hit it spot on as a matter of fact. I have never been a patient person. My clients tell me on a daily basis, as I am molding their newborn babies into photo worthy positions inch by inch as they sleep, that I "must be the most patient person in the world." Negative. I have a temper, am a bit of a control freak and am often grouchy and just plain mean when things don't go my way. Ask my husband. He knows. Which is why I am feeling continually surprised, if not completely in awe of my display of patience over the last 18 weeks towards my ever-changing and sometimes challenging daughter. You'd be impressed mom. When things get messy (literally), loud and downright crazy, It's with quiet and steady perseverance than I am able to make it to bedtime. She is teaching me things I never thought I would learn. Things I never thought I was capable of learning. Patience has many other definitions. This definition...


 An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.


Is another virtue my darling daughter has gifted me. Long before she was even a bun in my oven. We waited for her. We prayed for her. We waited some more and more and more. We got angry and mad and annoyed and restless and then... One day it stopped. It's exhausting, you know. To pour so much into something you can't control. So we took a step back from ourselves. We felt peace and calm and thankfulness for what we had. We were still waiting, but were willing to. And then... As if she knew we were ready for her, she came down from her little spot in heaven to us. Oh, beautiful girl! What felt so long was suddenly timeless. I will not pretend to know the plan of God in our lives. But I have no doubt that patience is something He wanted us to learn before we embarked on our journey of adoption. I hear it takes awhile. Yes, yes, this might be true. But if there is anything we have learned, we know it will be worth the wait. 


We're EXCITED to test our patience. Bring it. We've got a goal set for October 1st 2012. It's a monetary goal a.k.a. extreme patience tester. But we are excited to challenge ourselves. And when we reach it, and I know we will! We'll finally rolling on this adoption journey! 

Alessandra

Months have passed since our last blog post... about 9 to be exact. One month after our second miscarriage we found out that we were pregnant...again! What a circus ride. Of course, following our second loss, we assumed we knew for certain now what God had in mind for us. But as we are always discovering and never finished learning, we don't know at all what God is up to. Our third pregnancy came with plenty of emotions. Absolute dread and fear were at the top of my list. I was terrified of the disappointment I was sure was coming. To my surprise and our joy, that little bean kept growing... and growing and growing! And on January 12, 2012 a beautiful 8lb 10oz baby girl was born into our eager arms. We named her Alessandra. Defender of humanity. And that is our prayer for her. That sh
e would grow a heart for all people and show God's love to the world.

She is pure joy. A lot of work, a lot of sleepless nights and tired days... But when I look at her, I can't help but see a beautiful miracle. God's promise, our faith, a life lesson right there on her face. We intend to raise her in a way that reveals God's amazing love for her and His world.

Late one night, as I went to get Allie from her crib for that 2am feeding, I found her so wet that she had soaked through her pj's and her swaddling blanket. It broke my heart that she had been laying like that for who knows how long. I changed her diaper, wiped her down and put clean clothes on her. I sang her, "you are my sunshine," I swaddled her in a clean blanket and while she ate, I rocked her and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Honestly, I didn't expect to be thinking about adoption again this soon after Allie was born. But there I was in tears at the thought of the countless babies in this world who depend on the love of an adult that simply is not there. As a new mom, I want to be the one that rescues her. From a nightmare, from a pain, from a soaking wet diaper. Some people want to know if we are still planning to adopt since we now have Allie. More than ever the answer is YES. With more urgency than ever before, we want our son home.

A New Day

A new day, a new feeling. It sure seems like every day is bringing new feelings lately. Often times I look in the mirror and I do not even recognize the person looking back at me. The truth is, I believe that's what God wants. To change me. Even if it hurts like hell. He's molding me into the person I was meant to be. Remember a while back when I said that we were ignoring the command that He was so perfectly and loudly screaming to us? Well, there is nothing like a big bump in the road to throw you back off track again. Drowning in self pity and sorrow will surely cause introverted selfishness. Yuck right? Today I heard him saying, "Alright guys, I know you're hurting, but it's time to get it together. I have a son coming soon and he is yours." Quite literally I felt that kind of urgency... Like, he's nearly here. Unborn and nearly in this world; sensitive, helpless and without us. Time to make another push. So where do we stand? Unfortunately, finances will always define exactly where we stand in our adoption process. However, I'm excited to announce that since January 1... And with the help of some amazing people who want to see this dream become a reality for us and our baby boy, we have saved $9,610.00. We are still a ways away from our goal of $15,000 before signing the papers and beginning our home study, the first step in our 6-8 month adoption process. I am now working on different fundraising ideas to close the gap so we can finally get started! I am asking for your help to spread the word about our puzzle fundraiser. We are nearly 1/3 finished and I know we can get it done in the next few months with your help. I'm so thankful for you. For your prayers, and your thoughts and your help. Thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts for following our story and taking an interest in our journey. We cannot wait to celebrate you with our precious baby boy. Here is a sweet video of a family from San Antonio who adopted their son in 2007! I thought I'd share it so ya'll could see what we will be doing in what I hope is a short time!

Space for Miracles

Good morning friends! I hope you all have been having a good week. It has been awhile since my last post... There has been so much going on here lately that time just seems to fly without me realizing it. It's going to be an exciting weekend!!! One of my best friends in the whole world is marrying her college sweetheart on Saturday. I remember the week leading up to my own wedding so I know she is just besides herself with excitement. On the 21st, Josh and I will celebrate our 2 year anniversary. I think the second year went by faster than the first... And I'm sure all of the years after this one will go by even faster! I am so lucky to be married to the man of my dreams who loves me with all of his heart. No matter what comes our way, we're blessed to have each other and I am certain we can get through anything together. We were reminded of this simple truth again this month when we experienced our second miscarriage. If there is one thing I am learning about life and God and the plan He has for each of us, it's that no matter how hard we try, it is impossible to understand the many facets of God's strength, love and grace and of course, the incredibly complex plan He's carrying out one day at a time. As people, we can't help but try to fit His plan into our personal schedules and timelines. When that pregnancy test turned positive for instance, I found myself saying outloud, "God is giving us this baby because of our obedience to Him. He is giving us more time to save and more time to plan and He's allowing us this JOY in our life in the meantime!" Well it made perfect sense to me. So when it was taken away, I couldn't help but feel punished, cheated and defeated. Why do we do that to ourselves? And why do I pretend to know what God is doing in my life? He is not punishing me. He's making me a stronger person. He's not taking JOY away from me, He's creating a new and greater opportunity for it. As hard as it is at the moment, I know He's working in our hearts and He's creating space for miracles. I was listening to KLove the other day and they were featuring a book called 'The Cause Within You' by Matthew Barnett. The book is about finding the one great cause you were created for. It talks about Space for Miracles... That's the impossible distance between something you were meant to do and what we are capable of doing on our own. The space between is God's space and we can't close the gap without Him. I honestly loved that mental picture! It gives me so much strength and hope to know that those things I consider impossible like being 9 months pregnant or paying for an adoption, are indeed absolutely possible with the Lord. It's this truth that reassures me that one day we will pick up our child from an orphanage carry our baby home. And that one day, we will bring home our sweet newborn too. What's a miracle without a little opposition right?
I love the verses in 2 Peter 3:8-9

'A day is like a thousand years to the Lord and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn't really being slow about His promises, as some people think. No, He is being patient for your sake. '

I know that Peter is taking about salvation and the return of Jesus in these verses, but these words also help me to understand that God's timing is perfect. And that He doesn't see time the way we do. When He acts, the moment will be perfect and everyone will know that it was His miracle.

Let's Go Boerne!

So here is some pretty exciting news... We have 18 pieces to add to our puzzle. (Thanks Rachel and Jordan for your donation this morning!) It should be easy adding them in since I have nearly half of the puzzle together and sitting aside just waiting to join the rest! (Impatience kind of got the best of me these last few days.) I'll post pictures of the new additions soon.

Here is even more exciting news: Together with the Fickey family, we are getting geared up for an event that is going to shake Boerne. Our hope is that it helps in a big way to bring our babies home sooner and that it leads more families to adoption than ever thought possible. If you haven't already heard about it on Katie's blog, here is a little information to get your started.

Now for all of you non-runners out there... Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My husband is an Ironman. When he was training he ran 30 miles, swam 5 miles and cycled 120 miles per week. My idea of a workout was 2 loads of laundry and a dirty skillet. I mean, who wants to come back from a jog and proudly tell their Iron-husband that they ran a whole mile! (Which I would have been so proud of by the way.) But I've started... With Iron-husband's help, I am wogging 3.5 miles, 3 times a week and I'm so proud :-) Josh is too... Although he may be snickering at me behind closed doors, he seems pretty sincere. We're even talking about doing a 5K in the spring which is just crazy talk for me... I'm not the 'organized fitness' kind of gal. But I've realized that it's not about where you get yourself moving or how many people are in it with you, it's just about getting out there and doing it! So throw caution to the wind and come join us on May 14Th! There is still plenty of time to prepare if you are bound and determined to run the whole thing. I promise, if I can do it so can you. Click here and you can see the plan I'm on right now. And if you need even more motivation to come join us, here's the word that keeps me running through a cramp..."bikini."

So please, spread the word about One Less and come join us in the fun this May. We really need your help. God has shown Himself in some amazing ways regarding this event. We've received some extremely generous donations to help us get it going. We just know He is in charge of this race and we're eager to see what He does with it. We have a feeling it's going to lead to more than just 2 babies making their way home.

Coming Together

Along with donations, we have been getting some seriously cute cards & letters. I thought I'd gather them all up and take a quick picture. Some of them are funny (Ahem... Jessica Scott.) and some have made me cry. I am definitely getting baby P. a scrapbook soon- pending the coveted 'half off all scrap booking' sale at Hobby Lobby. These cards are going in it for sure.



Here is the progress with our puzzle this week. To all of you who have donated to our adoption, thank you so much! writing your names down was so fun and exciting! If we can get it finished by the summer, we will be starting our home study in August or September!! I've never been more eager to start anything in my life.

That's 84 pieces down and 416 pieces to go! If you want to help us finish our puzzle and bring our baby boy home, you can donate with the nifty button on the right or email me and I will send you our address.

Finding Baby P

We are in search of the perfect agency to carry us through the most important day of our life... Adoption day! It's been hard- there are so many! Cost is a big factor; but I think you probably get what you pay for so I'm not sure I'll be depending on my usual thrifty tactics with this one. So far, it looks like it will cost us about $25,000 in agency fees to complete our adoption and probably another $5,000 in airfare and other adoption expenses that come up. We have some news regarding where this sweet baby will be coming from. In the beginning, our hearts were set on Ukraine. But it seems that Ukraine is undergoing some big changes in the way they process adoptions and will soon be closing their doors to foreign countries until their changes are complete. Then we had our sights on Kazakhstan. News came from Kazakhstan that they were also in the midst of changing their procedures. They plan to open back up in the spring/summer... but after a lot of research we learned that with their track record, this could be more like next year or later. I was a little disheartened. How could finding a baby who needs loving parents be so difficult!? And then we looked towards Russia. Here are some staggering statistics about Russia you might not have known.

Abortion is the main means of birth control in Russia. The Average woman has had 8 abortions by the time she is 40.

Roughly 230,000 children reside in orphanages with over 650,000 children in some form of state care.

Russia now has less than half the population of the US.

There are more orphans on the streets of St. Petersburg today than in the aftermath of WWII.

Children in Russian orphanages "graduate" by age 16. Every year, about 15,000 children are released from orphanage care. Over half of them are unemployed and homeless resorting to a life of prostitution, crime and suicide.

Most of these children are social orphans. They were orphaned due to alcoholism, drug use, severe abuse or poverty.

We're keeping our eyes, ears and hearts open to whatever God has for us. We're staying alert and sensitive to what He's saying to us. And we're pretty positive that we will be adopting from Russia early next year. The wait times for adopting a Russian boy is currently 3-6 months from the time our paperwork is submitted. The wait is 6-9 months for a girl. We will not specify boy, girl or race. So we're pretty sure we will be getting a beautiful boy given those statistics. We know God has this child chosen for us... He's preparing our way to him as I type.

We are continuing our research on agencies and ask that ya'll send up some prayers that we find the right one! Thank you for your continuing support with our puzzle fundraiser. We are slowly filling the financial gap. What a blessing ya'll are being to our little family!

Thank You!

It's Friday and what a week it has been! I feel compelled to write a little post this evening about how amazing you all are. Everyone who is reading this and everyone who has been prayerfully and financially supporting us and our decision to adopt. Without question, you're showering your love on us and I've never felt so supported in my life. I know that our child is going to receive so much love from this town! When our court date rolls around and the judge asks us why we want to adopt I will tell him that Boerne is eagerly awaiting his arrival! I'll tell the judge that he isn't just getting parents, that baby is getting a whole town that loves him. Ya'll have a wonderful weekend and thank you for all you are doing! I'm hoping to have some updates on agency information next week!

A Joint Effort

Hi Friends! Josh and I have been talking with our good friends, the Fickeys about putting on a fundraiser to raise money for both of our upcoming adoptions. The Fickeys plan to adopt from Africa sometime this year. We are so excited to be putting on a 5k/3k race geared towards families in Boerne. So if winter has you down and you are feeling a bit 'fluffy' from all of the turkey and candy you've been eating, this may be the perfect chance to get movin' and help two children make their way to Boerne! Katie has more information on her blog at www.oureyesareopened.blogspot.com . Check it out!

The Fun Begins!

I loved last night. It was freezing cold and Josh and I were so excited to get cozy with our pup and hunker down for the night. We decided to bear the weather and go out for a frozen pizza and a RedBox... The best date! Jonah Hex was not all that inspiring of a movie and I was bored after 10 minutes so I decided I'd start working on the puzzle. We had 28 people give donations so I had 28 precious names to write onto 28 beautiful puzzle pieces! I forgot how addicting puzzles were and while it was fun just putting it together, I was all smiles at the thought of it gracing our baby's room one day. I seriously cannot wait to frame it and hang it on the wall! As I was writing names... Bear with me for a second ;-) I couldn't help but tear up. Some of these names were new to me. Some of these people I have never met. It touches me so deeply that they would be moved to help us with our adoption. Other names I have a known for a long time... 4Th grade or younger. Who would have known back then that they would become a piece to our adoption puzzle. Whether I've known you for a long time or a short time, I am so incredibly thankful for what you are doing. You're helping us get to the child that God has chosen for us. You are a part of His hand, His work and His provision for our adoption. I can't thank you enough! Here are some photos of the progress! 28 DOWN, 472 TO GO!

Updates

Good Morning Ya'll! This post is short and sweet. Our adoption Paypal account is finally up and running! For those of you who were waiting to be able to make a contribution online you can now do so with the 'donate' button to the right. If you donate with paypal please also drop me an email so that I can be sure your name gets on a puzzle piece.

nikkipetersonphoto@yahoo.com

Many friends have been asking what the process will be for our adoption. I will tell you our plan... Although we all know who laughs at those ;-) It may change and that's why we are staying open to whatever comes our way. We are interested in an international adoption from Kazakhstan. Why Kazakhstan? There are thousands of places in the world where children are in need. Kazakhstan is just a dot on that map. We can't explain why we feel drawn to the children there, but we do. I think that God works on our hearts and gives us a passion for a specific area of the world for a reason. We strongly believe that our child has already been chosen for us and we are going to follow our hearts to find him! Back to the plan ;-) When we reach half of our savings goal of $30,000, we will begin our home study. During a home study, a social worker interviews us and our family and checks our house for safety. We anticipate that our home study will take about 3 months but of course we are hoping for less time! At this time we will also sign on with an agency. I have been researching agencies up and down so that when it's time to choose, we will be with a good one! Once with an agency, we will prepare our dossier which I hope to complete in 3 months or less. A dossier is a whole lot of paperwork! We have to gather important documents such as marriage certificates, birth certificates and FBI background checks and have them translated by our agency and sent to Kazakhstan for review. When Kazakhstan approves us, they will send us a referral and an invitation to travel to their country to pick up our child! We will not specify boy or girl, but we are hoping for a child under 1 year of age. The period of time between the submission of our dossier and our referral will be approximately 3-6 months. Once it's started, our adventure will take about 9 months to a year to complete. We're hoping to have $15,000 by the summer so that we can begin. It's going to be exciting and scary and crazy but we know we'll get there!

I am feeling so encouraged this Monday morning! It's hard to believe that we officially kicked off our adoption adventure just last week. The response we are receiving from our puzzle fundraiser has been so wonderful that it's easy to see that God is behind our decision to adopt. We have already had over 50 people email and call for our address to send in their precious donations. I don't think I have ever been so excited to check the mail! I want to thank everyone for the incredible support. We can see that we are not in this alone and that has made such a huge difference for us. How can we fail with so many wonderful people praying and pulling for us?

The puzzle is on its way! It should get here tomorrow or Wednesday and I can't wait to start putting it together with the pieces that have been claimed. I have a feeling that Baby P's puzzle is going to be taking over our dining room table for a few months as we try to put it together. I was having coffee with a couple of my best friends... talking about nurseries (completely premature but exciting nonetheless!) and they had the wonderful idea to frame the puzzle with glass on the front and the back so that it could be flipped around and all of the names could be easily seen... Love it! It's going to be such an exciting day when we get it framed and up on the wall. I am still working on getting the Paypal button working. We started a Paypal account for our adoption last year but it has been so long since we have logged into it that Paypal has locked us out... I'm working on getting it reopened which will make donating to our adoption fund much easier. In the meantime, if you would like to be a part of our puzzle fundraiser you can email me and I will give you our address to mail in your donation. I am excited to post some puzzle photos in my next blog post so look for your name if you have given us a gift!

Until then, I wanted to share some of the ideas that have been buzzing in my head all weekend!

The circus puzzle got me thinking about a circus themed room for Sweet P!

I'm thinking I'll paint my own circus dogs to look just like Hutch... He'd look great in a pointy hat!

Piecing it Together

Good Morning Everyone! Today is an especially exciting day in the Peterson house because today is the day we officially kick off our adoption! We are embarking on our very first fundraiser and let me just say I am extremely excited about it. We're just one little step closer to holding our baby girl or boy in our arms. The fundraiser is really simple, but it's a sweet way for our friends and family to be involved in bringing Baby Peterson home. I have purchased a 500 piece puzzle. I haven't done a puzzle since I was a kid at the beach, so I'm actually a little excited to start working on a big one like this! Here is how the fundraiser will work:

Each piece of the puzzle will represent one person. One person who brought Baby P. a step closer to home! We are asking for a donation of $5 (But we'll gladly accept more!) to own a piece to our adoption puzzle. When you donate, your name will be written on a piece. When all of the pieces have been claimed, we will put it together and have it framed for Baby P's new room! It will hang as a sweet reminder of how many people helped to bring our kiddo home.

Can I just say I think this puzzle is so cute for our Sweet P's new room?! It looks like a circus came to Boerne and is parading around Town Square. Love it.

The name of the painting is Village Celebration. Perfect! If you want to be a piece to our adoption puzzle then please email me at nikkipetersonphoto@yahoo.com and I'll let you know where you can mail your donation, or grab us by the arm the next time you see us! I'm working on getting a paypal button placed on this blog in a few days which should make it much easier for everyone. 500 people is alot!!! I dont even think I have that many close friends. But we are sure that God is going to move in ways we could never have imagined. We're excited to see it completed and will keep ya'll up to date on how its going!

The Turning Tides

It's been a very long time since my last post and for those who were hoping for updates on our decision to adopt, I'm sorry! I guess you could say that we became wrapped up in the world around us and quite frankly, in our own desires.

Our feelings for adoption were so strong last year... We were eager to start! And then we saw the pricetag associated with it... We were knee deep in our renovation and penny-less because of it. Our house was a construction site complete with exposed concrete, nails and wires. To say that we were busy is an understatement. Josh was in the middle of graduate school and training for the Ironman race which he completed in November (Go Josh!) and I was pushing to get my new business off the ground from my college drafting table in our spare bedroom. The point is, we decided it wasn't the right time. We decided we needed to start 'trying' for a biological child and pick up adoption when things slowed down and we were financially ready... In a few years. We decided, we decided, we decided. Let me share something I have learned about the way God works in our lives. He doesn't care about our time-lines, our reasoning or our busy schedules.

When he set the desire on our hearts to adopt, he was speaking so clearly that there really was no denying that it was His plan for our lives. And even now, almost 1 year later, I can tell you that His voice is still coming in loud and clear... Whether or not I was listening is a different story. In May of last year, Josh and I did get pregnant. We were thrilled that it had only taken us 2 months of trying. In late May we miscarried and we were crushed... I can't tell you how completely heartbroken I was. The months that followed, even up until this very post, were filled with my obsession to have it back. We had almost forgotten about adoption... Almost. I still had dreams about it, I still heard songs that brought me back to it... But I think I purposely closed my eyes and ears to what God was trying to tell me. I watched as my friends became pregnant, had their beautiful babies and my selfishness grew as my eyes closed.

I was on the phone with a friend, crushed and heartbroken, explaining to her the trials of the last 8 months. The conversation began with a request for prayer that God would bless us with another pregnancy. But through all of the talk, she asked me about our desire to adopt. I told her about the signs we'd experienced and the ways God was telling us that he wanted us to go. But that we just wanted to have our own child first. She was amazed at the clarity of His voice in our lives! And through her excitement, I finally started to listen and see again. She explained that God has the power to open and close wombs... That God's plan is always greater than ours. I'm not sure how we got so lost on our path. When we made the decision to adopt we were, at that very moment, pregnant. Our child was waiting to be with us! How could I have wanted anything else? How could I have let my own desires get in the way of something God was commanding us to do. Only God knows what is best for our lives and if we were hurting, it was because we stopped listening to him. It was because of our disobedience to him and our introspectiveness. We were hurt because God was not helping us to get our way! But He had already shown us the way and we were swimming hard against the current. I felt myself turn and in an instant, all of the self inflicted sadness was gone. I felt God pick me up.

To my baby: I heard these songs today and I thought of you.

Days will come when you don't have the strength. When all you hear is your not worth anything. Wondering if you ever could be loved. And if they truly saw your heart they'd see to much.
You're Beautiful.
You were made for so much more than all of this.
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are HIS.
Mercy Me - Beautiful

He cries in the corner where nobody sees.
He's the kid with the story no one would believe.
He prays every night, "Dear God won't be please
Could you send someone here who would love me."
Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
Because nobody has shown me what love really means.
JJ Heller - Love Me

It doesn't matter what you've heard
impossible is not a word
its just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
when they decide to take that step
out on the water, but it will be alright.
Kutless - What Faith Can Do

Whether or not we get pregnant in the next year is no longer a concern of ours. We know that God is in control and we lay all of our faith in Him alone. In the meantime, we will pray for His gentle guidance as we continue to research and save; We already have $4,000! We are asking for prayer from our friends and family because we know this won't be easy. But are absolutely positive that we are moving in the direction God intended us to move in, and that makes all the difference in a life. If you've just read all of this, thank you for making it through my endless banter! It was tough to wrap the last 8 months into one post... :-) I'm excited to see what the next few month bring as we aggressively pursue our dreams.

A Family Favorite!

We've fallen in love with this song. It's just another way we hear the voice of God changing our life's direction... A beautiful sound! You tube it! You'll love it too. Its by Christian artist, Leeland with Brandon Heath.

Follow You

You lived among the least of these

the weary and the weak

and it would be a tragedy for me to turn away.

All my needs you have supplied.

When I was dead you gave me life.

How could I not give it away so freely?

And I'll follow you into the homes of the broken.

Follow you into the world.

Meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God.

Follow you into the world.

Use my hands, use my feet

To make your kingdom come.

Through the corners of the earth

until your work is done.

Because faith without works is dead

and on the cross your blood was shed

so how could I not give it away so freely?

And I'll follow you into the homes of the broken.

Follow you into the world.

Meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God.

Follow you into the world.

I give all myself

I give all myself

All myself to you.

Updates

A lot has happened at the Peterson house in the last week. I am now and forever working at home as a portrait and wedding photographer which means two things:

1. I get to be my own boss, work in my PJ's and go wherever I want for lunch
2. The laundry, construction zone, dirty dog and lengthening grocery list stares at me all day

This working from home stuff is harder than I thought! In fact, as we speak I am off task. Blogging was not on my list of "to-do's" today and somehow, I've found time "to-do" it.

The point of this post was to give you all a little update on our adoption journey. A few days ago, a good friend of mine gave me the number of a friend who studies law at St. Mary's University. Not only does she study law... She is specializing in International Adoption! Though not graduated yet, she has shown so much excitement in meeting with us to teach us all about adoption and our options that I can't help but be so excited to meet her! We've spoken back and forth through email about what she might be able to do for us and the more we talk, the more I think she's a gift from God to help us through this whole thing. She plans to take the Bar exam next summer which is about the time we will begin our paperwork. It would be great if she were the one to handle our adoption! We are going to try and meet with her this weekend so I will keep ya'll updated on our progress.

Hutchinson Bailey Peterson

This is Hutch.

Our crazy-eyed Catahoula Pitbull mutt. (Think Rachel Ray, not Michael Vick.) With length like a weenie dog (must be the mutt in him) an immobilizing fear of tin foil and a taste for sheet rock mud... this dog does should not be classified as a Pitbull. Nevertheless, we had to search for a vet when we rescued him because many clinics didn't carry the insurance necessary to treat him. Hilarious, when you consider how he sits in front of the mirror and whines at his own reflection. Hutch is a goofy, excitable snuggler and we love him so much! Throughout this blog you will hear me and Josh refer to him so I thought it would be nice for you to "put a face with a name." As our first child, we love him dearly. I'm sure he will take a back seat to the children we'll have in the future. But for now, he has claimed a nice cozy spot in our hearts... and on our furniture.

Something's Gotta Give

I was so excited to hear of all of the support behind us on our recent decision to adopt! What an amazing blessing! We know we are excited to add a member to the Boerne family. The title of this blog is "something's gotta give" because well... seriously, something's gotta give. Before our decision to adopt, we bought a fixer upper (as the previous post explains.) We were so excited to have a house that we quickly decided we needed new furniture, a new kitchen, new bathrooms.... etc. etc. We also were so excited to be newlyweds that we planned countless vacations in the coming year to celebrate all the happenings of our newly married life. ALL while josh finishes graduate school, trains for an Ironman and we are in the beginning stages of starting our family and adopting a child! WHOA! So. It all came to a head last night. Laying in bed, sleepless and grouchy, we determined that there is just a little bit too much self inflicted stress falling on our shoulders right about now! Why do we (as in all people) do this to ourselves? We live in such a "want it now!" world! I was talking to my good friend, Maren the other day and we came to the conclusion that all financial stress in self inflicted. It seems that its so easy to fall into the trap of "never having enough." Needless to say, we are re-prioritizing our lives. We know what is important and its not beach trips and crate and barrel furniture. This post is short and honestly, not very well put together. But, I have to run! Going to meet Josh for some Alamo Cafe and a much needed financial makeover. Why does every important decision in our marriage seem to happen over sweet tea and quick food?