Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A New Day

A new day, a new feeling. It sure seems like every day is bringing new feelings lately. Often times I look in the mirror and I do not even recognize the person looking back at me. The truth is, I believe that's what God wants. To change me. Even if it hurts like hell. He's molding me into the person I was meant to be. Remember a while back when I said that we were ignoring the command that He was so perfectly and loudly screaming to us? Well, there is nothing like a big bump in the road to throw you back off track again. Drowning in self pity and sorrow will surely cause introverted selfishness. Yuck right? Today I heard him saying, "Alright guys, I know you're hurting, but it's time to get it together. I have a son coming soon and he is yours." Quite literally I felt that kind of urgency... Like, he's nearly here. Unborn and nearly in this world; sensitive, helpless and without us. Time to make another push. So where do we stand? Unfortunately, finances will always define exactly where we stand in our adoption process. However, I'm excited to announce that since January 1... And with the help of some amazing people who want to see this dream become a reality for us and our baby boy, we have saved $9,610.00. We are still a ways away from our goal of $15,000 before signing the papers and beginning our home study, the first step in our 6-8 month adoption process. I am now working on different fundraising ideas to close the gap so we can finally get started! I am asking for your help to spread the word about our puzzle fundraiser. We are nearly 1/3 finished and I know we can get it done in the next few months with your help. I'm so thankful for you. For your prayers, and your thoughts and your help. Thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts for following our story and taking an interest in our journey. We cannot wait to celebrate you with our precious baby boy. Here is a sweet video of a family from San Antonio who adopted their son in 2007! I thought I'd share it so ya'll could see what we will be doing in what I hope is a short time!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Space for Miracles

Good morning friends! I hope you all have been having a good week. It has been awhile since my last post... There has been so much going on here lately that time just seems to fly without me realizing it. It's going to be an exciting weekend!!! One of my best friends in the whole world is marrying her college sweetheart on Saturday. I remember the week leading up to my own wedding so I know she is just besides herself with excitement. On the 21st, Josh and I will celebrate our 2 year anniversary. I think the second year went by faster than the first... And I'm sure all of the years after this one will go by even faster! I am so lucky to be married to the man of my dreams who loves me with all of his heart. No matter what comes our way, we're blessed to have each other and I am certain we can get through anything together. We were reminded of this simple truth again this month when we experienced our second miscarriage. If there is one thing I am learning about life and God and the plan He has for each of us, it's that no matter how hard we try, it is impossible to understand the many facets of God's strength, love and grace and of course, the incredibly complex plan He's carrying out one day at a time. As people, we can't help but try to fit His plan into our personal schedules and timelines. When that pregnancy test turned positive for instance, I found myself saying outloud, "God is giving us this baby because of our obedience to Him. He is giving us more time to save and more time to plan and He's allowing us this JOY in our life in the meantime!" Well it made perfect sense to me. So when it was taken away, I couldn't help but feel punished, cheated and defeated. Why do we do that to ourselves? And why do I pretend to know what God is doing in my life? He is not punishing me. He's making me a stronger person. He's not taking JOY away from me, He's creating a new and greater opportunity for it. As hard as it is at the moment, I know He's working in our hearts and He's creating space for miracles. I was listening to KLove the other day and they were featuring a book called 'The Cause Within You' by Matthew Barnett. The book is about finding the one great cause you were created for. It talks about Space for Miracles... That's the impossible distance between something you were meant to do and what we are capable of doing on our own. The space between is God's space and we can't close the gap without Him. I honestly loved that mental picture! It gives me so much strength and hope to know that those things I consider impossible like being 9 months pregnant or paying for an adoption, are indeed absolutely possible with the Lord. It's this truth that reassures me that one day we will pick up our child from an orphanage carry our baby home. And that one day, we will bring home our sweet newborn too. What's a miracle without a little opposition right?
I love the verses in 2 Peter 3:8-9

'A day is like a thousand years to the Lord and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn't really being slow about His promises, as some people think. No, He is being patient for your sake. '

I know that Peter is taking about salvation and the return of Jesus in these verses, but these words also help me to understand that God's timing is perfect. And that He doesn't see time the way we do. When He acts, the moment will be perfect and everyone will know that it was His miracle.