This is the definition of patience as it relates to my experiences in motherhood so far. "Even-Tempered Care" hit it spot on as a matter of fact. I have never been a patient person. My clients tell me on a daily basis, as I am molding their newborn babies into photo worthy positions inch by inch as they sleep, that I "must be the most patient person in the world." Negative. I have a temper, am a bit of a control freak and am often grouchy and just plain mean when things don't go my way. Ask my husband. He knows. Which is why I am feeling continually surprised, if not completely in awe of my display of patience over the last 18 weeks towards my ever-changing and sometimes challenging daughter. You'd be impressed mom. When things get messy (literally), loud and downright crazy, It's with quiet and steady perseverance than I am able to make it to bedtime. She is teaching me things I never thought I would learn. Things I never thought I was capable of learning. Patience has many other definitions. This definition...
An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.
Is another virtue my darling daughter has gifted me. Long before she was even a bun in my oven. We waited for her. We prayed for her. We waited some more and more and more. We got angry and mad and annoyed and restless and then... One day it stopped. It's exhausting, you know. To pour so much into something you can't control. So we took a step back from ourselves. We felt peace and calm and thankfulness for what we had. We were still waiting, but were willing to. And then... As if she knew we were ready for her, she came down from her little spot in heaven to us. Oh, beautiful girl! What felt so long was suddenly timeless. I will not pretend to know the plan of God in our lives. But I have no doubt that patience is something He wanted us to learn before we embarked on our journey of adoption. I hear it takes awhile. Yes, yes, this might be true. But if there is anything we have learned, we know it will be worth the wait.
We're EXCITED to test our patience. Bring it. We've got a goal set for October 1st 2012. It's a monetary goal a.k.a. extreme patience tester. But we are excited to challenge ourselves. And when we reach it, and I know we will! We'll finally rolling on this adoption journey!
It is an honor watching you grow! I love the way you write and express yourself with such clarity...I love your heart....I love you! You and Josh will be such a blessing to little Dane!
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