A New Day

A new day, a new feeling. It sure seems like every day is bringing new feelings lately. Often times I look in the mirror and I do not even recognize the person looking back at me. The truth is, I believe that's what God wants. To change me. Even if it hurts like hell. He's molding me into the person I was meant to be. Remember a while back when I said that we were ignoring the command that He was so perfectly and loudly screaming to us? Well, there is nothing like a big bump in the road to throw you back off track again. Drowning in self pity and sorrow will surely cause introverted selfishness. Yuck right? Today I heard him saying, "Alright guys, I know you're hurting, but it's time to get it together. I have a son coming soon and he is yours." Quite literally I felt that kind of urgency... Like, he's nearly here. Unborn and nearly in this world; sensitive, helpless and without us. Time to make another push. So where do we stand? Unfortunately, finances will always define exactly where we stand in our adoption process. However, I'm excited to announce that since January 1... And with the help of some amazing people who want to see this dream become a reality for us and our baby boy, we have saved $9,610.00. We are still a ways away from our goal of $15,000 before signing the papers and beginning our home study, the first step in our 6-8 month adoption process. I am now working on different fundraising ideas to close the gap so we can finally get started! I am asking for your help to spread the word about our puzzle fundraiser. We are nearly 1/3 finished and I know we can get it done in the next few months with your help. I'm so thankful for you. For your prayers, and your thoughts and your help. Thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts for following our story and taking an interest in our journey. We cannot wait to celebrate you with our precious baby boy. Here is a sweet video of a family from San Antonio who adopted their son in 2007! I thought I'd share it so ya'll could see what we will be doing in what I hope is a short time!

Space for Miracles

Good morning friends! I hope you all have been having a good week. It has been awhile since my last post... There has been so much going on here lately that time just seems to fly without me realizing it. It's going to be an exciting weekend!!! One of my best friends in the whole world is marrying her college sweetheart on Saturday. I remember the week leading up to my own wedding so I know she is just besides herself with excitement. On the 21st, Josh and I will celebrate our 2 year anniversary. I think the second year went by faster than the first... And I'm sure all of the years after this one will go by even faster! I am so lucky to be married to the man of my dreams who loves me with all of his heart. No matter what comes our way, we're blessed to have each other and I am certain we can get through anything together. We were reminded of this simple truth again this month when we experienced our second miscarriage. If there is one thing I am learning about life and God and the plan He has for each of us, it's that no matter how hard we try, it is impossible to understand the many facets of God's strength, love and grace and of course, the incredibly complex plan He's carrying out one day at a time. As people, we can't help but try to fit His plan into our personal schedules and timelines. When that pregnancy test turned positive for instance, I found myself saying outloud, "God is giving us this baby because of our obedience to Him. He is giving us more time to save and more time to plan and He's allowing us this JOY in our life in the meantime!" Well it made perfect sense to me. So when it was taken away, I couldn't help but feel punished, cheated and defeated. Why do we do that to ourselves? And why do I pretend to know what God is doing in my life? He is not punishing me. He's making me a stronger person. He's not taking JOY away from me, He's creating a new and greater opportunity for it. As hard as it is at the moment, I know He's working in our hearts and He's creating space for miracles. I was listening to KLove the other day and they were featuring a book called 'The Cause Within You' by Matthew Barnett. The book is about finding the one great cause you were created for. It talks about Space for Miracles... That's the impossible distance between something you were meant to do and what we are capable of doing on our own. The space between is God's space and we can't close the gap without Him. I honestly loved that mental picture! It gives me so much strength and hope to know that those things I consider impossible like being 9 months pregnant or paying for an adoption, are indeed absolutely possible with the Lord. It's this truth that reassures me that one day we will pick up our child from an orphanage carry our baby home. And that one day, we will bring home our sweet newborn too. What's a miracle without a little opposition right?
I love the verses in 2 Peter 3:8-9

'A day is like a thousand years to the Lord and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn't really being slow about His promises, as some people think. No, He is being patient for your sake. '

I know that Peter is taking about salvation and the return of Jesus in these verses, but these words also help me to understand that God's timing is perfect. And that He doesn't see time the way we do. When He acts, the moment will be perfect and everyone will know that it was His miracle.

Let's Go Boerne!

So here is some pretty exciting news... We have 18 pieces to add to our puzzle. (Thanks Rachel and Jordan for your donation this morning!) It should be easy adding them in since I have nearly half of the puzzle together and sitting aside just waiting to join the rest! (Impatience kind of got the best of me these last few days.) I'll post pictures of the new additions soon.

Here is even more exciting news: Together with the Fickey family, we are getting geared up for an event that is going to shake Boerne. Our hope is that it helps in a big way to bring our babies home sooner and that it leads more families to adoption than ever thought possible. If you haven't already heard about it on Katie's blog, here is a little information to get your started.

Now for all of you non-runners out there... Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My husband is an Ironman. When he was training he ran 30 miles, swam 5 miles and cycled 120 miles per week. My idea of a workout was 2 loads of laundry and a dirty skillet. I mean, who wants to come back from a jog and proudly tell their Iron-husband that they ran a whole mile! (Which I would have been so proud of by the way.) But I've started... With Iron-husband's help, I am wogging 3.5 miles, 3 times a week and I'm so proud :-) Josh is too... Although he may be snickering at me behind closed doors, he seems pretty sincere. We're even talking about doing a 5K in the spring which is just crazy talk for me... I'm not the 'organized fitness' kind of gal. But I've realized that it's not about where you get yourself moving or how many people are in it with you, it's just about getting out there and doing it! So throw caution to the wind and come join us on May 14Th! There is still plenty of time to prepare if you are bound and determined to run the whole thing. I promise, if I can do it so can you. Click here and you can see the plan I'm on right now. And if you need even more motivation to come join us, here's the word that keeps me running through a cramp..."bikini."

So please, spread the word about One Less and come join us in the fun this May. We really need your help. God has shown Himself in some amazing ways regarding this event. We've received some extremely generous donations to help us get it going. We just know He is in charge of this race and we're eager to see what He does with it. We have a feeling it's going to lead to more than just 2 babies making their way home.

Coming Together

Along with donations, we have been getting some seriously cute cards & letters. I thought I'd gather them all up and take a quick picture. Some of them are funny (Ahem... Jessica Scott.) and some have made me cry. I am definitely getting baby P. a scrapbook soon- pending the coveted 'half off all scrap booking' sale at Hobby Lobby. These cards are going in it for sure.



Here is the progress with our puzzle this week. To all of you who have donated to our adoption, thank you so much! writing your names down was so fun and exciting! If we can get it finished by the summer, we will be starting our home study in August or September!! I've never been more eager to start anything in my life.

That's 84 pieces down and 416 pieces to go! If you want to help us finish our puzzle and bring our baby boy home, you can donate with the nifty button on the right or email me and I will send you our address.

Finding Baby P

We are in search of the perfect agency to carry us through the most important day of our life... Adoption day! It's been hard- there are so many! Cost is a big factor; but I think you probably get what you pay for so I'm not sure I'll be depending on my usual thrifty tactics with this one. So far, it looks like it will cost us about $25,000 in agency fees to complete our adoption and probably another $5,000 in airfare and other adoption expenses that come up. We have some news regarding where this sweet baby will be coming from. In the beginning, our hearts were set on Ukraine. But it seems that Ukraine is undergoing some big changes in the way they process adoptions and will soon be closing their doors to foreign countries until their changes are complete. Then we had our sights on Kazakhstan. News came from Kazakhstan that they were also in the midst of changing their procedures. They plan to open back up in the spring/summer... but after a lot of research we learned that with their track record, this could be more like next year or later. I was a little disheartened. How could finding a baby who needs loving parents be so difficult!? And then we looked towards Russia. Here are some staggering statistics about Russia you might not have known.

Abortion is the main means of birth control in Russia. The Average woman has had 8 abortions by the time she is 40.

Roughly 230,000 children reside in orphanages with over 650,000 children in some form of state care.

Russia now has less than half the population of the US.

There are more orphans on the streets of St. Petersburg today than in the aftermath of WWII.

Children in Russian orphanages "graduate" by age 16. Every year, about 15,000 children are released from orphanage care. Over half of them are unemployed and homeless resorting to a life of prostitution, crime and suicide.

Most of these children are social orphans. They were orphaned due to alcoholism, drug use, severe abuse or poverty.

We're keeping our eyes, ears and hearts open to whatever God has for us. We're staying alert and sensitive to what He's saying to us. And we're pretty positive that we will be adopting from Russia early next year. The wait times for adopting a Russian boy is currently 3-6 months from the time our paperwork is submitted. The wait is 6-9 months for a girl. We will not specify boy, girl or race. So we're pretty sure we will be getting a beautiful boy given those statistics. We know God has this child chosen for us... He's preparing our way to him as I type.

We are continuing our research on agencies and ask that ya'll send up some prayers that we find the right one! Thank you for your continuing support with our puzzle fundraiser. We are slowly filling the financial gap. What a blessing ya'll are being to our little family!

Thank You!

It's Friday and what a week it has been! I feel compelled to write a little post this evening about how amazing you all are. Everyone who is reading this and everyone who has been prayerfully and financially supporting us and our decision to adopt. Without question, you're showering your love on us and I've never felt so supported in my life. I know that our child is going to receive so much love from this town! When our court date rolls around and the judge asks us why we want to adopt I will tell him that Boerne is eagerly awaiting his arrival! I'll tell the judge that he isn't just getting parents, that baby is getting a whole town that loves him. Ya'll have a wonderful weekend and thank you for all you are doing! I'm hoping to have some updates on agency information next week!

A Joint Effort

Hi Friends! Josh and I have been talking with our good friends, the Fickeys about putting on a fundraiser to raise money for both of our upcoming adoptions. The Fickeys plan to adopt from Africa sometime this year. We are so excited to be putting on a 5k/3k race geared towards families in Boerne. So if winter has you down and you are feeling a bit 'fluffy' from all of the turkey and candy you've been eating, this may be the perfect chance to get movin' and help two children make their way to Boerne! Katie has more information on her blog at www.oureyesareopened.blogspot.com . Check it out!

The Fun Begins!

I loved last night. It was freezing cold and Josh and I were so excited to get cozy with our pup and hunker down for the night. We decided to bear the weather and go out for a frozen pizza and a RedBox... The best date! Jonah Hex was not all that inspiring of a movie and I was bored after 10 minutes so I decided I'd start working on the puzzle. We had 28 people give donations so I had 28 precious names to write onto 28 beautiful puzzle pieces! I forgot how addicting puzzles were and while it was fun just putting it together, I was all smiles at the thought of it gracing our baby's room one day. I seriously cannot wait to frame it and hang it on the wall! As I was writing names... Bear with me for a second ;-) I couldn't help but tear up. Some of these names were new to me. Some of these people I have never met. It touches me so deeply that they would be moved to help us with our adoption. Other names I have a known for a long time... 4Th grade or younger. Who would have known back then that they would become a piece to our adoption puzzle. Whether I've known you for a long time or a short time, I am so incredibly thankful for what you are doing. You're helping us get to the child that God has chosen for us. You are a part of His hand, His work and His provision for our adoption. I can't thank you enough! Here are some photos of the progress! 28 DOWN, 472 TO GO!

Updates

Good Morning Ya'll! This post is short and sweet. Our adoption Paypal account is finally up and running! For those of you who were waiting to be able to make a contribution online you can now do so with the 'donate' button to the right. If you donate with paypal please also drop me an email so that I can be sure your name gets on a puzzle piece.

nikkipetersonphoto@yahoo.com

Many friends have been asking what the process will be for our adoption. I will tell you our plan... Although we all know who laughs at those ;-) It may change and that's why we are staying open to whatever comes our way. We are interested in an international adoption from Kazakhstan. Why Kazakhstan? There are thousands of places in the world where children are in need. Kazakhstan is just a dot on that map. We can't explain why we feel drawn to the children there, but we do. I think that God works on our hearts and gives us a passion for a specific area of the world for a reason. We strongly believe that our child has already been chosen for us and we are going to follow our hearts to find him! Back to the plan ;-) When we reach half of our savings goal of $30,000, we will begin our home study. During a home study, a social worker interviews us and our family and checks our house for safety. We anticipate that our home study will take about 3 months but of course we are hoping for less time! At this time we will also sign on with an agency. I have been researching agencies up and down so that when it's time to choose, we will be with a good one! Once with an agency, we will prepare our dossier which I hope to complete in 3 months or less. A dossier is a whole lot of paperwork! We have to gather important documents such as marriage certificates, birth certificates and FBI background checks and have them translated by our agency and sent to Kazakhstan for review. When Kazakhstan approves us, they will send us a referral and an invitation to travel to their country to pick up our child! We will not specify boy or girl, but we are hoping for a child under 1 year of age. The period of time between the submission of our dossier and our referral will be approximately 3-6 months. Once it's started, our adventure will take about 9 months to a year to complete. We're hoping to have $15,000 by the summer so that we can begin. It's going to be exciting and scary and crazy but we know we'll get there!

I am feeling so encouraged this Monday morning! It's hard to believe that we officially kicked off our adoption adventure just last week. The response we are receiving from our puzzle fundraiser has been so wonderful that it's easy to see that God is behind our decision to adopt. We have already had over 50 people email and call for our address to send in their precious donations. I don't think I have ever been so excited to check the mail! I want to thank everyone for the incredible support. We can see that we are not in this alone and that has made such a huge difference for us. How can we fail with so many wonderful people praying and pulling for us?

The puzzle is on its way! It should get here tomorrow or Wednesday and I can't wait to start putting it together with the pieces that have been claimed. I have a feeling that Baby P's puzzle is going to be taking over our dining room table for a few months as we try to put it together. I was having coffee with a couple of my best friends... talking about nurseries (completely premature but exciting nonetheless!) and they had the wonderful idea to frame the puzzle with glass on the front and the back so that it could be flipped around and all of the names could be easily seen... Love it! It's going to be such an exciting day when we get it framed and up on the wall. I am still working on getting the Paypal button working. We started a Paypal account for our adoption last year but it has been so long since we have logged into it that Paypal has locked us out... I'm working on getting it reopened which will make donating to our adoption fund much easier. In the meantime, if you would like to be a part of our puzzle fundraiser you can email me and I will give you our address to mail in your donation. I am excited to post some puzzle photos in my next blog post so look for your name if you have given us a gift!

Until then, I wanted to share some of the ideas that have been buzzing in my head all weekend!

The circus puzzle got me thinking about a circus themed room for Sweet P!

I'm thinking I'll paint my own circus dogs to look just like Hutch... He'd look great in a pointy hat!

Piecing it Together

Good Morning Everyone! Today is an especially exciting day in the Peterson house because today is the day we officially kick off our adoption! We are embarking on our very first fundraiser and let me just say I am extremely excited about it. We're just one little step closer to holding our baby girl or boy in our arms. The fundraiser is really simple, but it's a sweet way for our friends and family to be involved in bringing Baby Peterson home. I have purchased a 500 piece puzzle. I haven't done a puzzle since I was a kid at the beach, so I'm actually a little excited to start working on a big one like this! Here is how the fundraiser will work:

Each piece of the puzzle will represent one person. One person who brought Baby P. a step closer to home! We are asking for a donation of $5 (But we'll gladly accept more!) to own a piece to our adoption puzzle. When you donate, your name will be written on a piece. When all of the pieces have been claimed, we will put it together and have it framed for Baby P's new room! It will hang as a sweet reminder of how many people helped to bring our kiddo home.

Can I just say I think this puzzle is so cute for our Sweet P's new room?! It looks like a circus came to Boerne and is parading around Town Square. Love it.

The name of the painting is Village Celebration. Perfect! If you want to be a piece to our adoption puzzle then please email me at nikkipetersonphoto@yahoo.com and I'll let you know where you can mail your donation, or grab us by the arm the next time you see us! I'm working on getting a paypal button placed on this blog in a few days which should make it much easier for everyone. 500 people is alot!!! I dont even think I have that many close friends. But we are sure that God is going to move in ways we could never have imagined. We're excited to see it completed and will keep ya'll up to date on how its going!

The Turning Tides

It's been a very long time since my last post and for those who were hoping for updates on our decision to adopt, I'm sorry! I guess you could say that we became wrapped up in the world around us and quite frankly, in our own desires.

Our feelings for adoption were so strong last year... We were eager to start! And then we saw the pricetag associated with it... We were knee deep in our renovation and penny-less because of it. Our house was a construction site complete with exposed concrete, nails and wires. To say that we were busy is an understatement. Josh was in the middle of graduate school and training for the Ironman race which he completed in November (Go Josh!) and I was pushing to get my new business off the ground from my college drafting table in our spare bedroom. The point is, we decided it wasn't the right time. We decided we needed to start 'trying' for a biological child and pick up adoption when things slowed down and we were financially ready... In a few years. We decided, we decided, we decided. Let me share something I have learned about the way God works in our lives. He doesn't care about our time-lines, our reasoning or our busy schedules.

When he set the desire on our hearts to adopt, he was speaking so clearly that there really was no denying that it was His plan for our lives. And even now, almost 1 year later, I can tell you that His voice is still coming in loud and clear... Whether or not I was listening is a different story. In May of last year, Josh and I did get pregnant. We were thrilled that it had only taken us 2 months of trying. In late May we miscarried and we were crushed... I can't tell you how completely heartbroken I was. The months that followed, even up until this very post, were filled with my obsession to have it back. We had almost forgotten about adoption... Almost. I still had dreams about it, I still heard songs that brought me back to it... But I think I purposely closed my eyes and ears to what God was trying to tell me. I watched as my friends became pregnant, had their beautiful babies and my selfishness grew as my eyes closed.

I was on the phone with a friend, crushed and heartbroken, explaining to her the trials of the last 8 months. The conversation began with a request for prayer that God would bless us with another pregnancy. But through all of the talk, she asked me about our desire to adopt. I told her about the signs we'd experienced and the ways God was telling us that he wanted us to go. But that we just wanted to have our own child first. She was amazed at the clarity of His voice in our lives! And through her excitement, I finally started to listen and see again. She explained that God has the power to open and close wombs... That God's plan is always greater than ours. I'm not sure how we got so lost on our path. When we made the decision to adopt we were, at that very moment, pregnant. Our child was waiting to be with us! How could I have wanted anything else? How could I have let my own desires get in the way of something God was commanding us to do. Only God knows what is best for our lives and if we were hurting, it was because we stopped listening to him. It was because of our disobedience to him and our introspectiveness. We were hurt because God was not helping us to get our way! But He had already shown us the way and we were swimming hard against the current. I felt myself turn and in an instant, all of the self inflicted sadness was gone. I felt God pick me up.

To my baby: I heard these songs today and I thought of you.

Days will come when you don't have the strength. When all you hear is your not worth anything. Wondering if you ever could be loved. And if they truly saw your heart they'd see to much.
You're Beautiful.
You were made for so much more than all of this.
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are HIS.
Mercy Me - Beautiful

He cries in the corner where nobody sees.
He's the kid with the story no one would believe.
He prays every night, "Dear God won't be please
Could you send someone here who would love me."
Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
Because nobody has shown me what love really means.
JJ Heller - Love Me

It doesn't matter what you've heard
impossible is not a word
its just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
when they decide to take that step
out on the water, but it will be alright.
Kutless - What Faith Can Do

Whether or not we get pregnant in the next year is no longer a concern of ours. We know that God is in control and we lay all of our faith in Him alone. In the meantime, we will pray for His gentle guidance as we continue to research and save; We already have $4,000! We are asking for prayer from our friends and family because we know this won't be easy. But are absolutely positive that we are moving in the direction God intended us to move in, and that makes all the difference in a life. If you've just read all of this, thank you for making it through my endless banter! It was tough to wrap the last 8 months into one post... :-) I'm excited to see what the next few month bring as we aggressively pursue our dreams.